People are sharing their 'funny trauma' on TikTok. Why experts aren't convinced.
Kaitlin Shepard will never forget her childhood bus ride from hell.
The one where the second she climbed those few steps up, someone in the back screamed: "Yo, somebody get me a harpoon! I see a whale!" It wasn't the "whale" part that bothered the now 22-year-old of Nashville. Her public school classmates' taunts weren't uncommon. She just didn't know what a harpoon was and had to Google it – realizing mid-ride this student effectively threatened to kill her and everyone giggled and guffawed.
But as Shepard recounted this seemingly traumatic story in a recent TikTok, she was laughing, too. A recent viral video on the platform – which has inspired many replies, or stitches – invited users to reveal their funny traumas, and Shepard joined in on the trend with her bus story.
Many in the comments, though, didn't find the story all that funny. "Girl this is trauma," one user commented. "I’m glad you can talk about it because…man something like this would have wrecked me as a child." And another: "I’m not laughing I’m legit crying. This made me so angry but so sad."
Some people cope with trauma through humor, but mental health experts caution sharing stories publicly in this manner may not be worth a quick laugh.
"Sharing trauma on TikTok can unmask the prevalence of trauma in our culture, but it can also have a dampening effect of making trauma appear more ubiquitous and less alarming," says Alice Shepard, clinical psychologist and the owner of Mirielle Therapy Practice.
'It's OK to laugh about it'
Shepard makes videos to help people feel less alone – and laugh at herself in the process. "It's OK to laugh about it, it's OK to make light in something that did cause you trauma or did cause you a lot of stress at the time," she says.
It's a way to take back a narrative, a sense of control. Plus, "humor is associated with improving communication, reducing stress and anxiety, it can relieve tension, even improve recovery in general if you have experienced something negative," says T.M. Robinson-Mosley, counseling psychologist.
In other words: Laughter can be the best medicine, according to experts. "There is a time and place and season in our healing journey where humor is appropriate and sometimes even needed," says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. "The ability to laugh with ourselves, as opposed to at ourselves can be a sign of one's healing."
Of course, humor is likely not the sole antidote to healing. "If humor is being used to avoid processing or dealing with painful events, and the avoidance is causing significant impairment or issues in one's life, then professional support should be considered," Ahrens says.
Robinson-Mosley adds: "There's always a chance that trying to find humor in everything could possibly backfire or create discomfort."
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'We don't know how someone will respond'
Keep in mind that not everyone who comes across these videos while scrolling TikTok will be cackling and cracking up. "We don't know how someone will respond to someone posting their 'funny trauma,'" says Laura Petiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "Social media can be incredibly powerful. A vulnerable person who doesn't have the emotional resources to handle either the feedback they receive or the content they are viewing could be harmed."
If you're perusing these videos on your TikTok feed – and in an emotionally stable spot to watch them – make sure you're laughing along with the person posting, not necessarily at them. "Some minor trauma might be seen as funny, but this needs to be determined by the person affected," Alice Shepard says.
To that end, it's probably not someone's best bet to unpack significant trauma like violence or death on the platform.
"We don't see much sharing of the stuff that leaves a more indelible mark such as parental neglect, a really bad accident, or an abusive spouse," says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary's University in Canada. "What someone might label 'trauma' might be what others of us would consider a bad day or a crummy interaction. Perhaps it's not traumatic at all, but rather embarrassing or humiliating."
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'It can be great to laugh'
Generally, someone posting about their past should be prepared for people to bring it up again and again and again. So users should prepare accordingly. "Rather than working through the experience, it could become part of a running joke that followers bring up, or in the future, when someone might want to simply forget the experience ever happened, it resurfaces," Fisher says.
So, sure, post away. Give yourself and your followers a laugh if you're comfortable. Just think carefully before you open that can of woeful worms.
As Fisher says: "It can be great to laugh at something, as so long as it really is fully in the past."