Sara Evans, husband Jay Barker have reconciled after his 2022 arrest: 'We're so happy now'
Sara Evans is opening up about calling off her split from husband Jay Barker after filing for divorce in 2021.
On the first episode of her new podcast, "Diving in Deep with Sara Evans," released on Thursday, the 53-year-old country singer discussed the couple's tumultuous past, including the night Barker, 51, was arrested in January 2022 over an alleged domestic violence dispute and charged with one count of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
"A lot of women will judge me and want to judge me. ... We’re so happy now, but I don’t want anyone to think that I'm advocating staying in a relationship where you are ever, in your gut, you know that you need to exit the situation," Evans said. "Every woman needs to follow her gut on that and do what is best for her. I believe and I hope that I’ve done that."
The "A Little Bit Stronger" singer filed for divorce in August 2021 after being married since 2008. The divorce complaint listed "irreconcilable differences" and "inappropriate marital conduct" on the part of Barker.
Months later, the former Alabama quarterback was arrested in Nashville after allegedly attempting to hit two people with a vehicle, according to court documents obtained by The Nashville Tennessean, part of the USA TODAY Network. Documents on file with Metro Nashville General Sessions Court said the people in the vehicle were leaving a party around 1:30 a.m. As they pulled into the driveway of a nearby home, Barker allegedly reversed his vehicle “at a high rate of speed attempting to hit them, but missed,” according to the arrest affidavit.
The passengers of the vehicle and an unidentified number of unnamed witnesses told police Barker “intentionally” tried to strike them.
In June 2022, Barker entered what Tennessee refers to as a "best interest" plea to a misdemeanor charge of reckless endangerment, according to The Associated Press. The plea meant he did not admit guilt but agreed that the state had enough evidence to prove its case, Steve Hayslip, spokesman for the Nashville District Attorney General’s office, told the outlet.
Evans said she and Barker met for lunch on the day of the arrest but got into a verbal argument "because he wasn’t getting his way." Later in the evening, while she and one of her daughters went to their neighbors house for a bonfire, Evans said her then-ex began blowing up her phone and accussing her for splitting up their family.
Barker was waiting outside their home when Evans and her daughter returned, she recalled. "It really scared me, and it scared all of us, especially my child that was with me … (Barker) had a verbal altercation with my child, who had never seen that side of him, ever. And it scared her."
"Then he jumped in his truck, and he (was) sort of backing up at a very high speed," Evans said. "I knew Jay, so I didn’t feel the same way that my child felt. My child thought he was gonna plow our car down, that he was backing up towards our car, and that she was about to watch something horrific, or at the very least, an accident, which would have been his truck hitting my side of the car, where I was in the front seat. She was terrified."
Evans said her daughter called police and said Barker intentionally tried to hit them with his vehicle. The country singer is a mom to daughters Olivia, 21, and Audrey, 19, as well as son Avery, 24, whom she shares with ex-husband Craig Schelske.
"I just felt so ashamed and so stupid, and my child was so mad. But you know that she was standing there thinking, ‘He’s about to hit my mom with a truck.’ I don’t know how close he got honestly, and I don’t know what it looks like to her. But I heard her scream so loud," Evans said. "I really did not think that he was trying to hit our car. I think he was trying to back up as fast as he could to see who I was in the car with, to see if I was with another man."
The pair reconciled months later after Barker sent Evans a text that said, "Everybody says that I shouldn’t contact you, but you are still my wife," according to the singer.
"A lot of women will judge me and want to judge me. When he said, ‘But you are still my wife,’ I don’t know. I just melted because I thought, 'I am still your wife, and we can talk if we want to. We’re both adults,'" she recalled, noting that the exchange opened the window of communication between the pair.
Evans and Barker reconciled under the terms that they would attend therapy and marriage counseling, she shared.
"I just did not want to divorce again and start over," the podcast host said. "I just pictured myself being alone and missing him and thinking, 'We could’ve tried harder.' ... Some people have marriage problems that are like, they fight all the time. We didn’t fight all the time. He fought me."
Evans explained that she realized she was initially "very submissive" in their relationship, which she said her husband took "advantage of."
"When he was in his low spots, he fought against me, he pushed me away, pushed my love away. So every situation is different," she concluded. "I would never encourage anybody to stay in a dangerous situation."
Contributing: Cassandra Stephenson, Nashville Tennessean
If you are a victim of domestic violence, The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) allows you to speak confidentially with trained advocates online or by the phone, which they recommend for those who think their online activity is being monitored by their abuser (800-799-7233). They can help survivors develop a plan to achieve safety for themselves and their children.